Inspiration?

Getting inspired. If only that was simple. Some get inspired easy, some don't. Some like to let the creative process drag on to achieve a masterpiece. I don't have one yet.

I think everyone has a creative side, and need to let it come out. In everything we do there is magic, a spark. You might not see it, but it's not hard to find. Every act committed is done so in a way that expresses who we are. One person might do the same thing different than another, and that's why it's great.

So why all this rambling? Well for one, I like to ramble; But, however it may it not be clear, I do have a point, and I'll get to it...maybe.

I'm finding it so hard to get inspired lately. Writing used to come so easy to me (http://www.mikeyfwc.co.nr). Now, I can't think. Nothing's coming to me.

Lately I've just been doing. Everything is the same. I need a spark. I feel though, that there's no more energy in the world left to create it, like the battery is dead and no ones holding out a charger.

Why can't it be easy? Who knows, not me!

I can find it though. Something will come, and when it's here all the waiting will be worth it, I'll appreciate it more. I'm just impatient.

How do you get inspired? Inspiration is art, how do you make yours?

Thinking...

So, I've been thinking lately. Yeah I know thats probably a good thing :)

But; seriously. Next year I'm going to be color Guard Captain. And all I can think about is, will I make a good leader? I mean I know I've taken more than a dozen leadership classes, and I'm prepared, but being prepared, and actually doing are two different things.

I also feel bad because I think Sam is a little resentful, I am not saying jealous, I know she's happy for me; but she worked just as hard as I did. In the end I got it, and I think it upset her a little. I also don't want her to think she's not good enough, because she is. She's talented and I know she could do it.

I guess though, getting back on topic...

I'll be able to do it. I've givin this a lot of thought and have come to this conclusion.

Being a leader isn't about the classes you take, or how you take charge,

It's about having passion and the will to get the job done.

I know the only reason I wanted color guard captain, (and trust me there was a point where I didn't want it because I felt everyone else wanted it for the wrong reason i.e. to be the boss of everyone)

Continuing from the" I know the only reason I wanted color guard captain," is because I love color guard. And I want other people to do it to. To me it's all about having fun.

I want to teach someone and feel great when they finally understand.

So...Who knows how I'll do. The outcome is unpredictable. But I think I'll be just fine. I know I want to do this, and I know I can. All I have to do is have a little faith in myself and everything will be just fine.

:)

Starting Fresh

I think sometimes, a clean break is good. Starting over shouldn't be seen as a bad thing right?

I've decided I need to step back and watch. I keep worrying about little things that keep wearing me down.

Deep down I know that I have a lot to offer, and that I matter in the heart of people around me.

I just need to realize that. I think we all forget that each and everyone of us has a place in the world that matters.

Lately I've been at that point. Trying to figure out who I am. It's been tough. And in my final conclusion I've realized that I have no idea who I am. But; it's okay. No one really knows who they are. Sure, people have an idea, but change is everywhere. All we can do is try are hardest and hope that it's good enough. If it's not, we just have to wake up the next morning and try again.

I searched for myself and found nothing but un-happiness. I got so sad because I didn't know who I was. I'll never know, and all I can do is start fresh. Today was a new day, and tomorrow I'll try harder; for tomorrow is a new day, and a new me. Everyday is a chance to be someone you want to be, because in the end, YOU matter.